"Love me for a second and I'll make that second last a lifetime."

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Name: Jonas Ong Jiemin.
AkA: Jo.

Nick: Si|3nT_J.

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius

Zodiac Year:: Ox

Stats: Happily Attached~!

Age: 20.

Interests: Basketball, Squash, Soccer , Movies, Hanging out with Pals, Playing Pranks, Slacking.

School: Ngee Ann Poly School Of Engineering.

Birthday: 24 Nov 85.


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This is where i let out my deepest feelings and my daily happenings...


"The Blade Of Reality Cuts Through!"


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Adidas Brown Orange JAcket
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[[Days That Have Passed...]]
[[ Never To Return...]]

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Cabaret....

been some time since i blogged.. but my situation is still the same if not worst...

brought Jolin to see the Cabaret... knowing she loves to watch things like this..
hope she enjoyed it as much as i did.. why i was so wonderful to be by her side again..

there were parts during the musical where i secretly turn to juz gaze at her as she was so into the whole thing.. juz looking at her..juz wanting to have a long look at her.. cause i donno when i will get to see her again...but i know no matter how much i gaze.. and how much i try to keep that moment in my mind..i'll miss her so much the second she returns home...

i loved the Cabaret musical.. loved the costums and songs that they sang... it had a kinky kick to it.. which made it very interesting.. and also some sad moments..

i remember 1 phrase from the play.. "that if u choose to be together, no matter wad happens around us, at least we still have each other..."

well it made mi feel that with jolin.. if she were to choose to be with mi... i turly won't care wad happens.. weather i'm rich or poor.. or have any troubles.. as long i have her by my side..i will feel complete..

well after the play we waited a hell long for a cab.. argued a few times cause i think we both were tired... and she had a blister on her feet from shopping earlier in the day...

took a cab down to Hong Kong cafe.. first time shes been there..she loved the popular tea with milk.. which the call it "si Mud" if i remember correctly.. then we had a nice little mango dessert...she couldn't decide between 2 items to i got both.. when she tasted mi and made up her mind i took the 1 she rejected as usual.. haha..

then i sent her home.. and we had a little word fight in the cab.. i didn't mean the word in that context.. but she took it that way.. and being tired all she got angry or rather irritated easily..
she went home with out much else happening..

it's been 3days since i've seen her.. i really do miss her oh so much..wish i could see her tonight but she is out with her fren.. haixx. nothing much i can do..

all i can do is juz Hope....Wish.... and Pray with all my heart.. she will miss mi .. juz enough to wanna see mi ... or even call mi to ask mi wad i'm doing.. have i eaten .. juz somthing..

gonna sleep now.. dead tired...

"Baby i miss u so very much.."

"My heart is ever at your service." at 12:30 AM

Monday, July 10, 2006

Lonesome...

i can't really expect anything from her now... she sees mi when she feels like seeing other then that i'm not on her mind when she is doing other things...

i still love her alot.. and i have no intention to move on with my live... at least my feelings for her...i'll juz spend each day as it passes.. doing wad ever there is to do.. but whenevery she needs mi or wants mi to be by her side.. i'll drop wadever i'm doing and be by her side without a moments hasitation...

u may say that i'm being silly and all.. i agree i am.. but i can't help it that my feelings for her are still so strong...

Been listening to this song over and over again for sometime..

Artist: Richard Marx
Song: Right Here Waiting

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you

"always on my mind"

"My heart is ever at your service." at 1:13 AM

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Moody...

i'm moody.. juz don have the mood to do anything anymore.. i think of her all the time.. and the tot that she is not mine anymore.. juz doesn't sit very well for mi..
i feel lifeless.. there is no more that spark of energy that i always use to have..
i hate myself for letting our relationship turn out this way...

i don't wanna forget the happy memories we had.. i don't want u to treat mi so cold.. at least let us remain as frenz who are still in talking terms...even thou i still love u a whole lot i won't ask u to patch..

everywhere i go.. everywhere i look it reminds mi of u.. tell mi how can i carry on it's juz so difficult..

"Day by Day i wish...Day by day i hope..that some how some way .. you will return to me"

"My heart is ever at your service." at 11:24 PM

Miserable...

I donno wad to do any more..
yes i've excepted the fact that you don't want mi in your life any more..
that you have put wadever we had away and behind...
but wad i don understand why u have to treat mi so cold..
the feeling really eats mi from the inside..
i try to occupy myself... going for basketball.. squash...Jogging...
but when i get home and get ready for bed.. the tot of you juz floods my mind..
chatted with you juz now.. asking why are you treating mi this way.. all the things you said during our relationship.. all the dey Javu you said you had of us doing things together.. how comfortable you were with mi..

i'm not asking for u to juz come back to mi ..
all i'm asking is for u to treat mi like we use to sms each other and let each other know wad we are up to today.. it's ok that u tell mi that u are going out with other guys already..
that u have carried on your life..

i'm juz asking u to make my days easier to spend..
i know it's alot to ask for u as u have already left mi behind...
i still love u with all that i am.. and the only regrat i have is when i pushed u away..

i can see ya much happier with the new life u have for youself now.. i won't try to push myself in any more.. if ya happier without mi or with someone else then so be it.. i've said and done all i can to get u back..i won't try to confuse u any more..

like u said i'm the ex-boifren.. i have no priority left in your life any more..as much memories that we have had together .. doesn't matter to u any more.. u treat mi like i'm some guy trying so hard to get your attention... like the 10 months we had together never happen at all..it's hard to belive u could be like that.. but then i know it's juz in you...guess ya stronger then i am..

"Even thought you brought clouds to my blue skies. And chased my rainbow away. i still love you with all my heart.."

"My heart is ever at your service." at 2:13 AM

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Hopeless...

Well i really don't wanna let her go.. i'm hopelessly in love with her
she means so much.. even thou she has made up her mind to not be with mi any more.. it's ok... i'll still love her juz as much.. and still be there whenever she needs mi..

was reading my fren's blog here is a poem she wrote:

Fantasy
I'd follow you forever, to save you for one day,
There's nothing that I wouldn't do, no words I wouldn't say.
I'd find you in an instant, if ever you were lost,
I'd sacrifice it all to you, whatever be the cost.
I'd take away your hurt and pain, if it meant you would be free,
I'd walk around the world twice, if it meant my love you'd see.
If someone ever hurt you, or maybe even tried,
I'd give my all to save you, even if I died. Just to see you live,
I'd die a thousand times, I'd cast a thousand angels,I'd rhyme a thousand rhymes.
If ever you were sick, I’d stay right by your side,
I'd pretend I wasn't scared, my tears I'd try to hide.
I'd push you from a speeding car, I'd save you from despair,
I'd be your crying shoulder, when no one else would care.
If you ever fell in love, although it would be hard,
I'd be there for you all the way, I'd even be your guard.
If and when you need me, I'll be there right away,
I'd sacrifice my time for you, any night or day.
To see the pain inside your eyes, forever end you see,
I'd chance my life a million times, for one smile aimed at me.


i think the poem is very Beautiful.. but sad too..

i guess she is doing much better then mi..
she asked mi the other day it if i still love her.. without a doubt it would be a yes..
then she hug my arm.. like always on bus rides..again i wish time with stop..

U mean so much to mi.. more and any thing in the world..

"My heart is ever at your service." at 4:45 PM

Friday, June 23, 2006

Speechless...

This week the time i spent with u i treasured more then anytime spent with any 1 i have before..i hugged u so tight last nite.. wishing hopping that this night would never end..so that u could hold u in my arms forever...

but today the words u said.. my world juz came crumbling down.. i couldn't belive that u can say such things..

all i know now.. that this 8 plus months that we have been together..
made me belive u were the love of my life.. some 1 whom i can see myself with in the future..
someone whom i change for the most..

but today.. u made seem it was all juz a Dream.. i know not wat to say to u any more.. like i don't even know u..when we started out.. whenever u chased me away cause i made u angry i came back when u wanted me to be my your side.. this time i pushed u away cause i was angry and u have chosen not to be with me in such a short time...

i'm sorry i was never the man u were looking for.. all the dissappointments i caused u.. from today on words.. u shall have no more of my nonsense...

even thou u said the things u said i still love u with all my heart.. and i pray to god that if u were to find someone else in the futhure.. that he would be everything i am.. and everything i'm not..

I Love u Jolin...
Bye..my love...Take care...

"My heart is ever at your service." at 7:33 PM

Monday, June 19, 2006

Lost..

i'm lost.. i don;t know wad to do anymore..
i want to see her so much at times.. worst are when days turns to nite..
the only thing thats on my mind is her.. it juz drives mi crazy...
is she over us..? all the wonderful memories we have shared together?
she says she still thinks about mi.. i'm glad she does.. but i so wanna meet her and juz hold her in my arm..

there is juz nothing to do at home.. all day i juz wake up.. and stare at my hp.. thinking wad is she doing after work..? so hard to fight the urge to sms and call her.. but every time i do i think i'm irritating her.. always asking where is she , where is she going.. with whom.. or weather she wants to meet mi..

i decided to try to not to sms her today.. but i juz did asking weather if she wants to meet for dinner.. but she replied that her granny cooking so i asked if she finished work.. but no reply.. guess she juz too busy...

last nite.. was thinking of her so much that it fustrated me so much.. and too cool my self off i went for a jog.. juz kept thinking of her while i jog and ended up near reservior... then my phone rang.. she missed called mi as usually.. so call her back.. well she said she been home along time ago and she is going to sleep.. she sounded so cheerful.. and sweet.. miss her even more.. but it was nice hearing her voice..

so after that Jogged back home.. but upon reaching home.. i didn't wanna go back up..so i ran 2 rounds my condo Swimming pool.. split into 2 sets.. felt exhausted..

went to shower then smsed her that i was home as promised..

wondering when will i see her again...

"Living to Love you"

"My heart is ever at your service." at 6:19 PM

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Memories

all i have now are memories to remember u by... juz took a walk alone.. all i could think of was you and how things were..

i still can't forget where i got to know u from..and the situation i got us into..
everyday would juz sit by the com checking weather u had replied.. then soon i had u on msn..
the conversations we had could never seem to end.. then next i got hold of your contect.. started sms each other.. and soon led to chatting..

i have to admit then i was attracted to u physically.. u were pretty(Very) , love the way u sound over the phone.. but soon that love changed into somthing very special..

i remember the nite we first met face to face.. i was on my way home from Squash training and u had juz ended your drama class.. so i asked if we could meet at Parkway and travel to bedok together.. even thou u were very tired from your day's activities u still came to meet mi.. we hope on the next home bound bus and i started showing u wad i could found.. lol.. i had found the for my Gf in the past..but i still wanted to show u.. yes i was trying to impress u..

as time went past..we grew closer and closer.. but u said u didn't wanna be in a relationship .. and times u chased mi away.. and i was sadden every time u did that.. but time and time again u wanted to meet up and i could never refuse u..

guess by than i already had strong feeling for u.. but then all i did was tell u lies about myself.. the 1 thing u hate most.. i could never forgive myself for doing wad i did.. and 1 day u told mi that people will love mi for who i am not wad lies i tell them about myself.. and u did change mi from that moment on.. i also know u don't like to be shouted at.. or accused for something u didn't do.. or getting smacked..

but soon we were called an item.. day by day i would meet u and spend time with u.. even thou it's juz mi juz sitting there doing nothing waiting for u to finish wadever u had to do.. i didn't mind not 1 bit i always enjoy looking at u when u were so busy with your work.. so poised and controlled even if it's a last mintue work then u and ya friends are scrambling to finish up b4 the dateline.

somtime i would juz skip lessons and squash training to be by your side.. and also cause i miss u so. u started to mean more and more to mi.. i didn't mind the fact that we were always broke even b4 half the month was over.. then food u loved to eat so much..(Crystal jade congee)( 85 bak chor mee/ mince meat porriage)( the food at the top floor of far east)

i always wanted to go to the Beach for a walk with u but u were always too tired or didn't feel well.. wanted to go some place like the zoo but u never could make time.. wanted u to sleep over at my place but u couldn't cause ya dad didn't allow u and u ended up getting shouted at.. because of mi.. and i felt so guilty..

but wad i love most were when we went shopping together nagging at u to not buy thing u don't need but let u but anyway cause i like it, watch movies, supper, bus and train rides, and the times where i slept over at ya place.. cause this were the only times i could have u all to myself... with u hugging my close, smelling each other from time to time.. exchanging kisses and funny comments.. i do miss those time..also when u tell that u have Daja vu.. that wad u juz did with mi u had dreams about when u were young..

soon i'm over at your place everyday.. somtimes to do your laundry.. or change your bed sheet.. pack your room for u which is ever so messy.. to be there juz incase u can't find anything.. to listen to u play your Out of tune piano.. but somtimes juz to keep u company..and to tuck u into bed and when u are about to dose off i would walk home myself no matter how late it was..

i would always get so jealous when u go out with ya guy friends.. cause i couldn't spend time with u..

and the trips to the hairdresser whenever u think my hair is too long.. and i always ask mi if u sould reborn your hair again or put some curls in but always ended up not doing any thing to it but buying more hair products home saying the ones u have are finishing already..

i admit u have change mi.. i never minded it all long, as long as u were it's ok with mi.. and i would always give into u.. cause i never want u to do anything u didn't like.. and u took the effort to know wad i like and the style i prefer.. u simply are 1 in a lifetime

but not that we are apart i think back and i see all the mistakes i made and have been making..
always being so unresonable.. going away whenever u miss mi most.. throwing temper at u for the slightest things.. and always giving u nonsense..

i now know wad a bad partner i was.. the most curel thing i did was turn u down when u want to be by my side again.. u love me for who i am.. now i can say that i'm half the man i tot i was..
u complete mi darling..

i truly do love u with all my heart..

"My heart is ever at your service." at 3:04 AM

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